The Rider Allies SafeZone Program

Remember that the individual must decide for themself when and to whom they will reveal their sexual identity. Don't tell someone to take any particular action; the person could hold you responsible if it doesn't go well. Do listen carefully, reflect on the concerns and feelings you hear expressed, and suggest available resources for support. Help the person think through the possible outcomes of coming out. Support the person's decision even if you don't agree with it, and ask about the outcomes of any action taken.

Be aware that if you speak out about issues related to sexual orientation, some people may take this as an indication of your own sexual orientation. Take time in advance to think through how you might respond to this. How do you feel about your own sexual identity? Are you comfortable with yourself? Regardless of your sexual orientation, a confidence in your own self- image will make you less vulnerable.

Let others know that the sexual orientation of any individual is irrelevant unless that person wishes to disclose that information. If you can, address any myths or stereotypes that may be fueling such speculation. If a particular person continues to spread rumors, talk to that person individually.

Realizing and acknowledging that you may identify as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community can be an intimidating experience. You may either be attracted to members of the same sex, realizing you only experience romantic attraction and not sexual attraction, or may be unsure of your sexual orientation. If you think you may be Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual, etc., (LGBTQIA+) you might feel anxious about what it means and what others might think.

It's normal to feel scared when exploring your sexual orientation. Fear of abandonment by friends and family or just a fear of being different is common. Here are a few suggestions and resources to help you:

There is no right or wrong answer. There is only your answer! No one can tell you that you are LGBTQIA+ or not. There is no blood test or book or expert. Be leery of anyone who purports to tell you who or what you are.

Get support. Asking for help is difficult but you may find it useful to talk to someone. If you don’t think friends and family will be accepting, consider talking to a counselor who will be supportive and non-judgmental. Talking to someone can help you explore your own feelings and beliefs about being LGBTQIA+, both positive and negative. There are counseling services and support groups available on campus or check the resources links below.

Check out your local Pride center. If you're lucky enough to be in close proximity to one call them up or just stop by. They often have "coming out" groups as well as other social activities. Information and links about local LGBTQIA+ centers/support groups are listed under LGBTQIA+ resources on the main page.

The following websites can provide information on the Coming Out process:

• Human Rights Campaign
  Human Rights Campaign is the largest civil rights organization for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans and works to achieve equality through advocacy and education.
• Advocates for Youth
  This organization provides information regarding LGBTQIA+ issues and advocates for LGBTQIA+ youth in communities as well as encourages self-advocacy.
• ReachOut
  ReachOut aims to help teens and young adults dealing with difficult issues and struggling with mental health issues by providing information and support. All of the website's content is written by teens and young adults to help teens and young adults. Focus is on helping them face their issues by becoming aware of their strengths and how to find additional help when needed.
• LGBT Life Center
  LGBT Life Center is a resource for teens, young adults, and even older adults to reach out and find support from others who identify like they do. On this page, you will find a list of their social support groups that are currently meeting virtually and in-person.

Anonymous vs. Confidential Testing
In most states you can find clinics that offer "anonymous" or "confidential" HIV tests. It may be important to you to know the difference between those two terms when you choose a clinic for the test.

"Confidential" testing means that your name and other identifying information is attached to your test results. With confidential tests, the patient’s name is recorded with the test results. These results are kept secret from everyone except the medical personnel and perhaps the state health department. According to New Jersey law, if the patient tests positive, their name must be reported to the state. The results also go in your medical record and may be shared with your insurance company if a claim is made. Otherwise, the results are kept private, just as most medical records are.

“Anonymous" testing means that your name is never used — just an ID number. That number is attached to your test results. You get your results by matching the number. Usually the results aren't written down — they are just told to you either over the phone or in person. With anonymous testing, your test results are not part of your medical record.

In New Jersey, the law allows for both confidential and anonymous testing. The individual being tested should ask the site which forms of testing they offer (confidential vs. anonymous) and, in the case of confidential tests, who may have access to the results.

"Anonymous" testing is not available in some states, so when you schedule an appointment, ask if it is available in your state.

Transgender.NJ.GOV
Transgender.NJ.Gov is intended to make it easier for transgender and non-binary people in New Jersey to find information on complex topics such as updating names and gender markers, learning about legal protections and civil rights, and finding the help and support they may need.

On Campus

• SPECTRUM Pride Alliance: 609-896-5000 x7318
• Counseling Services: 609-896-5157 ([email protected])
  Located in Zoerner House

Local LGBTQIA+ Resources

• HiTops
  HiTops is a non-profit organization that fosters strong and healthy young people of all identities by providing inclusive and youth-informed sex education and LGBTQ+ support for young people throughout New Jersey.
  300 Witherspoon St, Suite 204, Princeton, NJ 08540
  Email: [email protected]
  Phone: 609-453-2555
• Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) of Princeton (at HiTops)
  Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) promotes the health and well-being of GLBT individuals and their families and friends, through education, advocacy, and support activities. They also offer virtual meetings.
  21 Wiggins St.
  Princeton, NJ 08540

  Email: [email protected]
  Phone: 609-791-9740
• Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network (GLSEN) Central New Jersey
  The Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN) is a leading national education organization focused on ensuring safe schools for all students.
  Email: [email protected]
  Phone: 212-727-0135
• The Pride Center of New Jersey
  Provides support to and fulfills social needs of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender individuals. It is a safe space for the GLBT community and houses numerous groups and programs.
  85 Raritan Avenue, Suite 100, Highland Park NJ, 08904-2430
  Email: [email protected]
  Phone: 732-846-2232

Support Groups/Organizations

• The Pride Center of New Jersey offers the following groups:
  85 Raritan Avenue, Suite 100, Highland Park NJ, 08904-2430
  Email: [email protected]
  Phone: 732-846-2232
• Bi The Way
  Bi the Way provides a dedicated space for those who identify as and questioning bisexual+ people (including folks who identify as bisexual, pansexual, sexually fluid, omnisexual, among others) of all genders to discuss and share the struggles and joys of non-monosexuality. Meets in-person every third Wednesday from 7:30 to 9 p.m. at the Pride Center of New Jersey. Send an email to [email protected] for more info.
• The Intersex Connection and Allies
  The Intersex Connection & Allies is a support group for everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community to get together to discuss issues affecting us all including, but not limited to, community action and how we can get involved to change laws that take away equality rights. Meets virtually every fourth Tuesday of the month from 7 to 9 p.m. Send email to [email protected] for more info.
• Non-Binary Pals
  Non-Binary Pals (NBP) is a peer-based support group for non-binary, genderqueer, and gender non-conforming folks! Our focus is on creating a community for humans finding their place in the gender spectrum. For more information, check out Non-Binary Pals’ Facebook page.
• Men’s Coming Out Group
  A moderated discussion group for issues related to coming out as gay men. Men vote on the topic of the day. Meets virtually every other Wednesday from 7:30 to 8:30 p.m. Send email to [email protected] for more info.
• Women’s Coming Out Group
  This group provides a supportive environment for women who are at any stage of the coming out process. Women of all ages who consider themselves gay, lesbian, bisexual, or questioning are welcome. Meets virtually every Monday, 7:30 to 9 p.m. at the Pride Center New Jersey. Send email to [email protected] for more info.
• TruSelves Trans Support
  TrueSelves is a transgender, peer-based support group focusing on all aspects of the transgender spectrum from gender issues to understanding yourself and your community. All members of the transgender community are welcome. TruSelves meets the third Sunday of every month, 4 to 6 p.m.  Send email to [email protected] for more info.
• Buck’s County LGBTQIA+​ Youth Center offers the following resources:
  LGBT National Hotline: 1-888-843-4564
  The Rainbow Room: 267-282-4117 ([email protected])
  Rainbow Room is an LGBTQIA youth program that provides a supportive and empowering environment for youth ages 14-21. Weekly meetings are a free and confidential place where you can learn, build support networks, and have fun. This is a program of Planned Parenthood Keystone, located at Salem United Church of Christ.

LGBTQIA+ of Color

• Fierce
  FIERCE is a membership-based organization building the leadership and power of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQIA+) youth of color in New York City. 

HiTops (confidential)
300 Witherspoon St, Suite 204
Princeton, NJ 08540
Phone: 609-453-2555

Henry J. Austin Health Center (free & anonymous)
321 North Warren St.
Trenton, New Jersey
Email: [email protected]
Phone: 609-278-5945

Robert Wood Johnson University Medical Group (free & anonymous)
Ambulatory Care Building- HIV Counseling and Testing Program
1 Hamilton Health Place
Hamilton, NJ 08690
Phone: (609) 586-7900

Health Federation of Philadelphia - Women’s Anonymous Test Site (confidential and anonymous)
1211 Chestnut St., Ste. 701
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19107
Phone: 215-246-5210 (main)

Planned Parenthood of Northern, Central and Southern NJ (confidential and anonymous)
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-northern-central-southern-new-jersey

GLAAD - Amplify Your Voice
GLAAD ensures fair, accurate, and inclusive representation that rewrites the script for LGBTQ acceptance.

The Trevor Project
National organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth.

Human Rights Campaign
The HRC Foundation maintains resources and publications on coming out transgender issues, LGBTQIA+-related healthcare topics and information about workplace issues faced by LGBTQIA+ people, notably the Corporate Equality Index.

It Gets Better Project
The It Gets Better Project was created to show young LGBTQIA+ people the levels of happiness, potential, and positivity their lives will reach – if they can just get through their teen years. The It Gets Better Project wants to remind teenagers in the LGBTQIA+ community that they are not alone — and it WILL get better.

Afraid to Ask
AfraidToAsk.com offers in-depth information and graphic photographs that will give you a better understanding of highly personal health issues.

Scarleteen
Scarleteen is an independent, grassroots sexuality education and support organization. It provides content and interaction which seeks to provide developmentally and culturally-appropriate sexuality education and information that reflects the diversity of people and sexuality; that aims to serve all sexes, genders, economic and social classes, sexual orientations and relationship models, types of embodiment and more. It includes information on contraception, safer sex and sexual health, reproductive choice, masturbation, anatomy, sexual orientation and other aspects of sexual identity, gender identity and equity, pleasure and human sexual response, body image, sexual and romantic relationship formation, communication and negotiation, sexual and other interpersonal abuse, self-esteem and care and compassion in sexual enactment that is not intentionally exclusive to any one group, save privileging those in their teens and twenties.

The information contained on this website page is based on Safe Zone, Safe Space and Ally programs at other colleges and universities throughout the country.