“Even I was 20 once... ” Remembering Barbara Bush

Barbara Bush led a fascinating life on the international stage. She became a familiar sight, the white-haired lady with pearls, the wife of one president and the mother of another. She and George H.W. Bush had five children and they lived in Texas on and off for over 70 years. Mrs. Bush succumbed to heart failure and COPD, and we are poorer for her passing. She was one of the most admired and well-liked American first ladies.

The single controversy of her four-year tenure as first lady provides us with insight into her legacy. In early 1990, Mrs. Bush was invited to deliver the commencement address at Wellesley College. Shortly after it was announced that she would be the speaker, 150 of Wellesley’s 600 seniors signed a petition protesting her selection. The petition read in part, “To honor Barbara Bush as commencement speaker is to honor a woman who has gained recognition through her husband, which contradicts what we have been taught over the past four years at Wellesley.” One of the protesters said that Mrs. Bush had been selected because of her husband’s achievements, not her own. Battle lines were drawn and the controversy bubbled over onto editorial pages, television, and in comments from public officials, notably the President of the United States who felt that the Wellesley seniors could learn a great deal from his wife.

Though she was disheartened by the controversy Mrs. Bush remained calm and gracious and never seriously considered withdrawing. She told a reporter, “Much ado about nothing. Even I was 20 once.” Perhaps Mrs. Bush decided that the best way to deal with the situation was to give a thoughtful, memorable speech.

On June 1, 1990, Mrs. Bush looked out at more than 5,000 people attending the Wellesley Commencement and, after acknowledging the opposition to her speech, spoke about the many choices that would be available to the graduates. She told the seniors she hoped that they would make three very special choices as they went forward. “The first,” she said, “is to believe in something larger than yourself... to get involved in some of the big ideals of your time.” She explained that this was the reason for her advocacy of literacy. She said, “I chose literacy because I honestly believe that if more people could read, write, and comprehend, we would be that much closer to solving so many of the problems plaguing our society.” 

Moving on Mrs. Bush pointed out that she had made another choice which she hoped the graduates would make: “Whether you are talking about education, career, or service, you are talking about life, and life must have joy. It’s supposed to be fun. One of the reasons I made the most important decision of my life, to marry George Bush, is because he made me laugh.” She encouraged the seniors to find the joy in life and quoting from a popular film of the day, she delighted listeners when she quoted Ferris Bueller who said, “Life moves pretty fast. Ya don’t stop and look around once in a while, ya gonna miss it!”

Finally, she spoke about a third choice, to cherish human connections, relationships with family and friends. She spoke about the intellectual rigor of Wellesley and how the importance of dedication and hard work had been impressed on every graduate: “As important as your obligation as a doctor, lawyer or business leader will be, you are a human being first, and those human connections—with spouses, with children, with friends, are the most important investments you’ll ever make. At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child or a parent.”

Finishing her speech, and by this point the audience was cheering, Mrs. Bush declared the controversy over and, displaying her wicked sense of humor she quipped, “And who knows, somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow in my footsteps and preside over the White House as the President’s spouse — and I wish him well!”

The speech at Wellesley was a clear triumph for Barbara Bush, and laid out her legacy. Literacy, which she endorsed as both second and first lady is at the top of the list, along with the Barbara Bush Foundation for Family Literacy which she helped found. We know she found joy in life through her 72-year marriage to George H.W. Bush, her 17 grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren. She also believed that if all of us could maintain strong relationships with family and friends, we would be better for it.

Barbara Bush was straightforward, pragmatic, caring, gracious and fun-loving, and she gave her best to her family, her friends and her country. We will miss her.

Dr. Myra Gutin is an authority and author on the topic of American first ladies. Widely quoted in national and international news media, she is the author of The President’s Partner: The First Lady in the Twentieth Century and Barbara Bush: First Lady of Literacy. Her research interests also include political communication and women in politics.

Barbara Bush photo courtesy of the George Bush Presidential Library and Museum